ChesterDog

Community Stats

• Group Members lvl 1
• Active Posts 110
• Profile Views 18,457
• Member Title Zebedee
• Age 7 years old
• Birthday April 30, 2006
• Gender
  Male
• Interests
  Provision of dishwasher pre-wash program. General nuisance duties. Provision of noxious smells (and taking blame for similar). Defence of the household (unless it's really necessary). Eating of unsuitable/dangerous/forbidden objects and breakage of iirreplaceable items. Digging. Barking at postman. Barking at doorbell. Barking at people who visit. Barking at people who try to leave. Barking at Barking and certain other London boroughs. Development of random conditions requiring expensive veterinary care. Shedding (but not fencing). Lying about in random positions to trip people up. Plonking my arse on the faces of people who are sleeping. Eating of important documents. Making a ridiculous fuss of the post arriving (the so-called Post Apocalypse). Interruption of anything important that's going on so that it can't continue. Changing mid-game from pleasant little Chester Dog into nasty old Mister Strop. Obedience of all commands except when necessary. Sneezing into people's faces but only when they get really close. Making of soppy 'please love me' facial expressions to elicit extra-dietary treats. Doing whatever I am told not to do. Not doing whatever I am told to do. Failing to stop at the edge of the road when about to cross. Stopping in the middle of the road when crossing. Walking v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y when people are in a hurry. Running about screaming when people wish for a quiet period of contemplation and reflection. Ensuring that even the most protected, precious, dog-forbidden place develops a good smattering of dog hairs. Attacking of harmless people. Slobbering and general sycophantic fawning over potentially harmful people such as muggers. Saving of biggest, sloppiest poo until after use of the last remaining poo bag. Knocking over of vases (but only when full of water). Taking possession of - and sequestration of all attendant ownership rights pertaining to - front windowsill. Sitting wherever you want to sit. Yawning the smell of dead fish straight up your nose and accidentally catching the edge of your nostril with a tooth when finishing. Worrying about having a shower. Grabbing of people's hoods. Looking slyly and somewhat threateningly at mobile phones. Spontaneously vanishing completely without trace even when in a closed room, defying intensive and extensive searches, only to reappear later looking as if I've been there all the time. Rolling in fox poo. Looking aghast/confused/bemused when asked to do anything constructive at all. Waiting for bacon. Denying everything. Constantly developing yucky stuff in eyes for someone else to clean out. Getting filthy. Management of household finances and investments. Farting.

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